God what an inconvenience, yet 'tis necessary.

Back to reality.

Sorry for possessing typical college behavior. For enjoying meeting new ppl and making new friends. For having my life events coincide with Truth ads and every teenage National Statistic. For listening to Hip Hop and enjoying dance parties. For owning Abercrombie clothing. For being Asian and majoring in Biological Science. For being a Democrat. For liking Asian guys. For being so goddamn fucking average.

Sorry, but I can't help it. Why the hell do I always feel like such an outcast when I come home now?

Home for the holidays! Some serious shopping needs to get done this weekend. I've been missing malls so much that even the G-Mall seemed appealing today. Can't wait to see all y'all.

Shout outs to la la land kiddos Viggy and Claire.

Either I get an 'A' on my midterms/essays or I get a 'C+'. What ever happened to B's? Stupid Psychology and Organic Chemistry. Today's o-chem midterm better be an A and not a C+. Thank god I'm majoring in Bio.

Why, I think I have a bf. And he's good at what he does. :o)

Group projects are so fun, especially if there's papar bag outfits, no script, and a camcorder involved. Hope the class likes it. Scratch that -- I hope the professor enjoys it, seeing that all the other presentations had him snoring.

Disregarding all the funky, edgy or bland outfits everyone wears to class, I find that there's two distinct types of design students. One very predominate type usually comes in the social butterfly, laid-back, slacking, spewing fun, creative ideas, class goof package. The other one is typically seen in the asocial, dark angrily staring, serious, neat freak, edgy work with no fun, don't-dare-try-to-share-with-me role. Such juxtaposition!

I know I'm judging but I can't help it. Its just so apparent in this classroom and in group projects that I find it very amusing comparing it to my cookie cutter science classrooms.

Dinner and a movie. Then a lot of ambiguity. After a quick talk with Sameer, I stopped thinking and went back to quit that foolish dance.

And now I'm smiling like a fool. :oD

What a day. I woke up 5:30am this morning to go snowboarding, not even aware of WHERE my friends are taking me. We head to Sierra at South Lake Tahoe in 1 1/2 hours, where the most breathtaking views of snow covered mountains, Redwood trees, stoney streams, and calming mist took over the high altitude. So gorgeous that we stopped our car in the middle of the road to take pictures.

Just as we entered the resort, it starts to snow! OMG, I never saw it snow before! The light snow and bunny slopes were really enjoyable. I can't say the same about the top of the mountain. Damn it was COOLD! Heavy mist, blizzarding snow and at least 20 degrees. My first time ever snowboarding and I was doing it practically blind! It took almost an hour to get down that thing, without our super long, gigantic snowball fight in the middle of the mountain with hella strangers, I bet I could've gotten down a lot sooner. So many times I was going fast as far as hell, then suddenly eating snow the next moment. I seriously need to learn how to break or turn well.

Funny how despite all the soreness and bruising that results from this sport, I still had a lot of fun and wanna do it again (preferrably on a non-school holiday = less crowds). I'm especially looking forward to doing more runs, it takes a lot of endurance from newbies, but the satisfaction afterwards is worth it.

Within the last 6 minutes, my playlist has played:

"Make Me Whole"- Amel Larrieux
"Ready For Love" - India Arie
"Always on My Mind" - One Voice.

Love songs are very atypical on my playlist. What happened to all my beloved angry, social, political Hip Hop, rock songs?

While I was taking care of a passing out/yakking friend last night, his long, drunken confession threw me off guard. During this whole episode, I couldn't help but wish he didn't seriously care for me as much as he does, even though I find myself occasionally liking him. Its almost as if I don't want to be loved or have anyone concerned about me. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I really enjoy his company and he's everything I ever looked for in a guy, and even more. There's just that small step... letting myself become such an integral part of somebody else's life, that I fear so much.

How am I suddenly caught up in a web? When I said that I needed to take some more action and quit being such a wuss, I didn't know this much would happen so soon.

Still waiting for the consequences...

Score! My new Organic Chemistry set just came! Its almost as good as getting Legos for X-mas.

My favorite molecule: equatorial cyclohexane :o)

Last night, a guest on NBC news proclaimed that America is in a culture of conservatism. Meaning the majority of Americans support bans on gay marriages, no stem cell research, oppose abortion, support Mr. President's efforts in war and so on.

That got me thinking, this perspective doesn't coincide whatsoever with the environment I was brought up in. I don't think lil 'ol Milpitas prepared us for the real world's views. Frequently I now find myself the lone supporter of so-called liberal views in large social circles. While in Mr. Hanley's Western Philosphy class of 30 students, I'd be one of 16 athiests, here its more like one of two.

A city governed by Pacific Islander mayors, Mexican, Japanese, and black principals and police chiefs is not typical. Nor is having a good handful of gay and lesbian teachers throughout middle and high school "normal". Neither is teaching, though not preaching, athiesm and diesm along with other belief systems ordinary. Nor is having students of Buddhist, Sihk, Catholic, Athiest, Jewish, Hindu, and Muslim beliefs sitting in the same classroom representative of this state, nation, or world. The view of physical, OUTSPOKEN protest, versus blind acceptance, as another form of patriotism is seen as a joke in most of parts of the U.S., including this very "liberal" college campus.

It's time to wake up. Over 90% of Americans are thiests and frequent church goers. 11 states are on the verge of (if they haven't already) enforcing gay marriage bans. 22 states are in the process of limiting or denying women's freedom of choice. The California state government is paying 12 times the budget on stem cell research than the entire Federal government. And our newly re-elected President doesn't even believe in evolution. Let's face it: We are living in a conservative nation and we have ALWAYS been living in one.

Folks are scared of changes, and fighting for change puts me and some of you on the outskirts of society. I guess we better get used to being the minority, cuz this is the way its gonna be for awhile.