ooo... ben harper songs are so pretty. I don't even care if its heavily peppered with religious references cuz its that goddam beautiful. After 3 years of neglect, his songs randomly appeared on my winamp again. Oh the wonders of the Shuffle option...

Oh no
here comes that sun again
that means another day
without you my friend...

I think im slowly turning into a loner. A drifting loner who goes to the library, absorbed in music, watching the simple lives of people around me. what the hell am I becoming? I feel more comfortable doing things and going places on my own... but being anti-social just doesn't feel right... like I'm going against my own nature...

On top of these matters, I'm doubting who is really my friend. Seriously. I think I recently overheard shit talk of me by so-called high school friends. Alrite, so high school is over, so if you still give me the impression that you're my good friend, but actually don't like me at all, then fuck it -- don't even pretend. Just don't talk to me and STAY out of my life. That includes bumming for shit. Then we can end being friends. Its easy like that. I sure as hell don't want a one-sided friendship.

I just want a peace of mind... just to feel like I'm OUT of high school. I feel like I can't get out of the surveillance of constant scrutiny and he-said-she-said crap. Every word I say gets spitted against me in 50 different versions of what I ORIGINALLY said. This makes even less sense now, cuz I talk 70 times less than ever before. I can talk forever for something I'm impassioned about, but simply to stay out of long, dumb-ass, pointless arguments, I'd prefer silence any day.