Oh what fuckin shit. Now I got a damn 2AM curfew. What the fuck is that? Just cuz my mom's all annoyed that I've been coming home past 3AM every night this week. Goddamit, I hate feeling restricted, even its a pretty reasonable restriction. You can't suddenly lay down some rules when you haven't been enforcing any for almost 19 odd years.

I'll probably break this new curfew regularly just for the sake of breaking it. Blah. I probably sound like a brat in this entry cuz I've been spoiled with so much freedom early in childhood. In anycase, I still don't have much to rebel against. My mom says that if I'm gonna stay out later than 2AM now, then I should call her... but I can still stay out past 2AM, just not on a daily basis.

I'm having difficulty grasping this idea of a curfew and rules. Its not like I'm causing harm or raising havoc when I'm out and about. So these rules aren't helping me stay out of trouble, instead, they may possibly encourage me. Seriously, if I break them, what the hell can anybody do to me?

Sometimes, I feel like I have no one to grow up with.  That worries me.  I'm not worried about myself, actually, I'm rarely worried about myself.  Cause I know I'll be fine; maby irritated, sidetracked, or dissatisfied, but still fine.

What I do worry about are other ppl.  I worry whether some ppl can make it, whatever that means.  Whether they can survive being on their own, literally by themselves with nobody lifting them up financially, emotionally, physically.  Whether they can bring their nerves to take the RIGHT risks.  The good risks.

I probably need to get some more guts myself, too.  But there are those out there, that I wish I could just hand over some of my ambition to them.  Get them started on setting the menial stuff aside, and working on real priorities.

Treated out to lunch by a nice guy this afternoon.  A gentleman.  And it was refreshing.  Despite the fact that I'm not exactly a lady-like figure, I always appreciate a gentleman.  Its not neccessary, but they're very much rare and acknowledged.  No, I don't go for bad asses, gangstas, or show-offs.  They just don't go for me, and I don't go for them. 

Maby that would change, but I highly doubt so.  Strangely I tend to like guys so nice and well-mannered that they make ME look bad.  Har har.

Berkeley is a great town.  Too bad parking is a bitch.  Spent the day with Vic, Rex, Tri, and Tri's friends Jake and Julie.  We all crammed into my car to watch The Borne Supremacy.  Squashed, uncomfortable car trip always equals bonding time.  Surprisingly, I understood the whole movie and enjoyed it very much, despite never watching The Borne Identity.

The campus is gorgeous at night.  I love going on college campuses in general.  They just feel really safe, even though they aren't that much safer than the city.  In any case, I can't wait to live in the city.  So many restaurants, shops, nightlife, and public transit within convenient walking distance.

It was May's bday yesterday and May, me, Vic, and Audrey all ate out and hung out a bit before we all went our separate ways for the nite.  Man, party at Mission (fremont) was so random.  Nice seeing lots of familiar faces that I haven't seen all summer.  Too bad I showed up really late when the place was dry.  Oh well. 

Read my friend Brian's xanga this morning.  Although I'm athiest, his latest entry is the best defense of God that I have heard, as of yet.  Good use of the defects of science.  

North Carolina family friends just left for So-Cal today.  They’ll be back by Friday, so no worries.  I haven’t seen them since I was 7, but we used to be close.  I was expecting lots of deadly awkward silences, but it was the opposite.  They’re pretty good conversationalists.
 
Anyways, I’m just grateful that I never had to go thru an identity crisis.  And grateful that I’m not pointed out as a minority and foreigner everyday of my life, just for having black hair, tan skin and squinty eyes.  It’s cool to live around other Asian folk, but it’s also cool to be around those who don’t CARE what I am.  That’s probably the biggest clincher.  So while me, Vic, and Joe were bitching about how lame Milpitas is, our visitors kept praising how GOOD we had it.
 
At G-Mall: “It must be soo cool that EVERYONE’S Asian!”
My Bro: “Man, this mall is lame.  I wanna leave.”
 
After hearing these two phrases over and over, I actually took a good look at my surroundings.  And everyone within view was of color – black, brown, tan, sand, mocha, white, whatever – and ghetto.  Not to sound PC, but it felt good to see diversity, so good that I wanna eat some warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream.  No, make it Neapolitan.  Actually, I was probably just hungry.
 
By the way, I’m convinced that I never wanna live in the rich, white South.  Or the South in general, minus Florida and Louisiana.  Cajun sounds awesome.  End of post.

Family is family. Relatives... well they're just... there. Either I don't "click" with relatives collectively or just individually. Probably both. Once again the So-Cal visit was filled with boredom and plenty of akward silences. With the exception of when my great uncle randomly shouted and me, my bro and sis that we "better all be doctors soon. Okay, just be doctors, remember that -- DOCTORS!"

Being in the presense of hardcore stereotypically successful Asians make me just avoid them much more so. I don't like being pushed for success. Actually, its very annoying. If I'm getting good grades or choosing a certain profession, its cuz I want it. And I like the fact that my parents never looked at my grades, never showed up to parent-teacher conferences, never suggested any colleges (besides SJSU), hardly knew my academic performance, rarely give a damn of what relatives think or say, but they would still brag about me regardless of how little I achieve.

Once again, my parents reaffirm themselves as the awesome strange parents. Meanwhile, every strict, over-achieving, workaholic, conformist parent is (in my mom's words):

"Stupid, ugly, and mean with good intentions."

Camping with friends is 200 times better than camping with family.

Oh my, too many memorable moments to list. Setting up camp, swimming in slimy (sewage?) water, crazy night of crunkness, late night tent chaos (sleep talking, yakking, and Daniel's death grip), great food, boating, swimming in clear water, the longest game in Crazy 8 history, chillin, Kent being a ninja, deers, clear sky, and good friends. We should definitely do this again.



Btw, my old dorm showers make camp showers look like a royal palace.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm becoming more posh or ghetto.

Just bought some shoes online yesterday

... and they arrived today!

oh man... I got way too many shoes now.

As you can see, my poses have very little variation. (Left to Right, top to bottom) The many faces of Christine include: Holla, Roll Out, Ebaying, Blank, Hello, Skin is Peeling, and My Watch is Awesome.

SF MOMA for free today with Sameeran. Man Oh man is San Fran cold and windy. I forgot about SF weather, even on a July afternoon, but it wasn't too bad.

The museum was pretty interesting, especially the behind-the-scenes photos of the porn industry. An entire floor dedicated to the making of porn! haha. Some of the shots were funny, some depressing, some intriguing. Of the whole exhibit, I especially like the piece where an actress is cheerfully talking on her cell, topless with baggy cargos and curlers in her hair, in a dirty, average looking backyard. Sameer pointed out that it was the only happy piece. Hmph.

On a brighter note, the movie Van Helsing got me in good spirits tonite. Just finished watching it at Cinema Savers with French, Rex, and Vic. Its the ultimate Halloween movie, with not much of a purpose, a lot of special effects, but with lots of characters that I like. I think I just liked it for its settings, 19th Century Europe with a lot of scientific, "religious", and mythical elements. Okay, I'll end this entry now, before it turns into one of Mr. Boring's movie reviews.

4th of July pics are up Before making our own 4th festivities, me, Vic, Amy, and Tiffy all went to the football field at the Sports Center. There, we met the whole city of Milpitas, minus anyone between the ages of 16-20. For once, the town actually looked pedestrian friendly and somewhat urban. The fireworks there were awesome, and I think Vic will post those pics on her site.

So its gonna be Abnormal Psych with May's bf Daniel. Yay. I care not for this class. Hopefully it'll just give me a headstart on upper division psych. Whaterrr...

Anyways, I'm sooo excited about decorating and designing my new room and apartment this September. Too bad I'm on such a limited budget. Eh, what college student isn't?